The Human Resource Interview
At the end of a job interview, the human resources manager asked a young engineer, 'And what starting salary are you looking for?'
To which the engineer replied, 'About $125,000 a year, depending on your benefits package.'
The interviewer replied, 'Well, what would you say to a package of five-weeks vacation, 14 paid holidays, full medical and dental insurance, a company matching retirement fund up to 50 percent of your salary and a company car leased every two years, say a red Corvette?'
The recent college grad sat up in amazement. 'Wow, are you kidding?' he asked.
'Yeah,' the interviewer replied, 'but you started it.'
At the end of a job interview, the human resources manager asked a young engineer, 'And what starting salary are you looking for?'
To which the engineer replied, 'About $125,000 a year, depending on your benefits package.'
The interviewer replied, 'Well, what would you say to a package of five-weeks vacation, 14 paid holidays, full medical and dental insurance, a company matching retirement fund up to 50 percent of your salary and a company car leased every two years, say a red Corvette?'
The recent college grad sat up in amazement. 'Wow, are you kidding?' he asked.
'Yeah,' the interviewer replied, 'but you started it.'
You vs BossWhen you take a long time, you're slow.
When your boss takes a long time, he's thorough.
When you don't do it, you're lazy.
When your boss doesn't do it, he's too busy.
When you make a mistake, you're an idiot.
When your boss makes a mistake, he's only human.
When doing something without being told, you're overstepping your authority.
When your boss does the same thing, that's initiative.
When you take a stand, you're being pig-headed.
When your boss does it, he's being firm.
When you overlooked a rule of ettiquette, you're being rude.
When your boss skips a few rules, he's being original.
When you please your boss, you're arse-creeping.
When your boss pleases his boss, he's being co-operative.
When you're out of the office, you're wandering around.
When your boss is out of the office, he's on business.
When you're on a day off sick, you're always sick.
When your boss has a day off sick, he must be very ill.
When you apply for leave, you must be going for an interview.
When your boss applies for leave, it's because he's overworked.
New Job
Several weeks after a young man had been hired, he was called into the personnel manager's office.
'What is the meaning of this?' the manager asked. 'When you applied for the job, you told us you had 5 years' experience. Now we discover this is the first job you've ever had.'
'Well,' the young man said, 'in your ad you said you wanted somebody with imagination.'
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